Before we moved into the house which I still own today, I lived in Saiwai-cho in Kochi city. I was about 4 or 5 years old. In the neighbouring houses there lived many children and we often played together. Many children had young mothers and they had hobbies such as modern stitching, baking, etc. I was born later in my mother’s life and she was working as well. Mainly my grandmother took care of me. One day all of my friends came to visit at my house. My grandmother was happy about that and she made “Ameyu” for all of us. She made it with boiled water, sweetened with honey, adding potato starch and cooking it while stirring. From that came a thick and sticky drink, which was my everyday sweet besides raisins. I was happy and started drinking it with the help of a spoon but the other children were not drinking it at all. One boy said “This is glue” and my grandmother became very angry and scolded him. Then he whispered to his sister “She is a witch and wants to poison us”. I was quite sad because I thought “Ameyu” was actually quite tasty and they did not even try it. My grandmother was actually a nice person! After that we played together and in our house, which was rented at that time, there was a small room up under the roof, which was rare in Japan at that time. In that room, there was my father’s office space and I was not often there, because the stairs were very steep and dangerous and I was not allowed to go up there alone. But I really wanted to show this room to my friends. I said “Look, this way is up!” and I started to go up to that room halfway. My grandmother noticed that and she yelled “Dangerous, you will fall down！!”. In that exact moment I really fell down. Again, this boy said “Do you see? She really is a witch and uses magic!”. But this time, even I thought to myself that maybe she really was a witch…. But now I know what the magic word was. It was self-suggestion.
現在の我が家に引っ越す前に、高知市内の幸町に住んでいました。私が4、5歳の頃です。近所には何人か子供がいて、よく一緒に遊んでいました。私以外の子のお母さん方は皆、若くて、機械で刺繍したり、お菓子を焼いたり、モダンな感じでした。私の母は、年齢が他のお母さん方よりずっと上でしたし、仕事をしていました。ですから主に私の世話をしてくれたのは祖母でした。 ある日、近所の子供達が我が家に遊びにきました。祖母は大喜びで「あめゆ」を作ってくれました。祖母の「あめゆ」とは、蜂蜜などで甘味をつけた水に、少量の、水に溶かした片栗粉を入れ、鍋の中でトロミがつくまで煮詰めた、シンプルな食べ物と飲み物の中間のようなもの。この「あめゆ」か「干しぶどう」が、いつもの私のおやつでした。私は喜んで、スプーンですくって食べ始めたのに、他の子はお互い顔を見合わせて、口をつけようとしません。ひとりの男の子が「これは糊だ」と言うのです。祖母がカンカンに怒って叱ると、その子は側に座っている彼の妹に「魔女だ。毒を飲ますつもりだ」、と囁きました。私は「あめゆ」は美味しいし、おばあちゃんは優しい人なのになぁ、と悲しくなりました。 その後、気を取直して、皆んな一緒に家の中で遊び始めました。この家は借家だったのですが、当時の日本の木造建築にしては珍しく、屋根裏部屋がありました。父が勉強部屋として使っており、私は入ったことがほとんどありませんでした。階段が非常に急で危険なので、私がひとりで上がるのは禁じられていたためです。しかし私はこの部屋をどうしても皆んなに見せたくなりました。「ほらほら、見て見て、ここ、上がれるよ！」と言いながら、私ひとりが階段を途中まで駆け上がったところで祖母がそれに気がつき「危ない！落ちる！！」と叫びました。その瞬間、私は足を滑らし、本当に階段から落ちてしまったのです。するとまたあの男の子が「やっぱり魔女だ！魔法を使った！」と叫びました。私も今度ばかりは心の中で、本当に魔女なのかなぁ、と、うっすら思い始めてしまったものです… 今なら、その「魔法の呪文」が分かります。それは「自己暗示」。
Picture by Yuka Simeno
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